A Dagger Through Dimensions - Chapter 1

An Alley and A Headache

Author’s Note: This is a webnovel. First 10 chapters are free to all Substack subscribers. After that, you can access the ongoing chapters plus receive access to the digital file at the end of each arc by becoming a paid subscriber

Synopsis

Everything started the day after a woman and her thugs used me as a punching bag in a dark alley. If you’re thinking that I woke in some medieval-like fantasy world after they got through, you can’t be further from the truth. There are no castles, dungeons, dragons, or magic swords here. The first few minutes, I held out hope that this place would have status bars showing HP/MP, etc. just like a lot of tropes. I mean who wouldn’t love some amazing power or magic? The problem is there’s no system or cultivation here.

But I have a dusty office with an invisible secretary. Oh, and I found out my name by looking at the one stenciled on the office door.

The name Dagger should give you a clue.

Yeah, that woman sent me into a place where I’m a private detective. It’s what they called a shamus back in 1940. The thing is this place isn’t on the map and I can’t leave. Well, not without a tremendous loss of blood. Trust me, I’ve tried.

At the end of the day, I’m just an ordinary guy stuck in the past that doesn’t totally match the history books. I can get beat up or killed by any of the gangsters, backstabbing people, or crooked cops I meet. Hell, I can’t even tell if the people are NPCs. After all, they seem to have lives like any person you might meet. Then again, how many times do you see dead movie stars wandering around on the streets?

It’s another dimension that runs like an old movie, leaving me with no choice but to find a way to escape. While I don’t miss my college classes that much, this place certainly puts a damper on my career hopes. Besides, Lane Dagger has a lot of people trying to kill him.

Chapter 1

One minute, I’m thinking about the wonderfully hot body that is right in front of me as I turn with her into an alley. But as soon as Miss Wonderful turns around, I’m face down on the pavement with a headache, wondering why I’m seeing my ancestors. Mind you, not their ghostly souls. Just the images from pictures I remember gather in my head. None of them appeared thrilled to see me.

“You’re kind of scrawny and not very bright. But I suppose you’ll do Mr. Kennicott. I don’t have much choice.” Miss Wonderful’s sigh filtered through.

Any other time, I could imagine kissing her sensuous lips. But I couldn’t even see her face clearly. Instead, the bitter-faced image of my great-grandma’s stern gaze of disapproval appeared. Blanche Kennicott led a local temperance movement back in the ancient past. Judging by my great-grandma’s stern expression that I witnessed inside my foggy mind; she would never approve of me getting drunk and following this temptress. I could hear the old woman condemning me as stupid. Only an idiot drinking too much goes into a dark place with a stranger.

Yeah, tell me about it, granny!

Then, the goons with my date brought me back to reality when they worked me over. Through the series of events over the course of a few minutes with Miss Wonderful, I absorbed several lessons that night.

First, a guy should never believe his lying eyes when a mysterious babe suddenly comes on to him. Another lesson is that a guy needs to be damn skeptical of a beauty who starts using words like “trust me, I need a guy like you”, “let’s find some place quiet”, and “I’ll rock your world”.

But the key lesson I learned at that moment was that I can be a sap.

For you generation whatever types, a sap means a foolish or gullible person. Additionally, it’s the description of a handy device that knocked me right into this mess. You see, a sap also describes a little device that old-time detectives, cops, and thugs used to soften up their victims.

They’re easy to make. All you need is a couple of pieces of leather about the size of your hand, sew them up, then fill the insides with lead buckshot. Now you’ve got a nice bludgeon. Slap it on the ribs long enough and guys want to produce answers to whatever questions you ask. Indeed, pop someone behind the ear and they go down like a rock.

That’s how I first discovered their use when a guy used a sap on my noggin while I struggled and cursed at Miss Wonderful. For my efforts, two gorillas in human skin lifted me to my feet. That’s when I see the leather weapon in a massive hand. There’s no reason to strike me again since I’m not standing on my own anytime soon, as my legs are sagging out like a scarecrow’s flopping in a strong wind. All the same, I felt another thump ring through my skull from a second gorilla.

Then, I’m watching the ground come forward. My noggin probably hit the ground, I’m not sure. Still, somewhere in the haze, I see Miss Wonderful’s shoes under the alley light above us.

A shout of pain comes out when she lifts my head with my hair and my body comes off the ground with the help of two gorillas. I’m finally back to recognizing the woman again. I don’t like the look. She’s got a mischievous gaze while her piercing eyes searched my soul. Her delicate nose and full lips gave her the look of royalty. Her wavy tawny hair lay long over her bare shoulders. Naturally, my eyes went downward to look at her breasts once again.

I’m such a damn fool!

Somehow, I decided that there was no way that I’m getting mugged without at least giving a fight. While I’m still mostly bendable, like a gummy bear, I suddenly shake off the grip on my left arm and swing around at the guy next to me. I’m aiming for the bastard’s balls, and I nail him. A gratifying grunt comes from the son of a bitch, but his vice-like grip loosens only a little. While I was trying to shake loose, a rib shot from thug number two immediately hit me.

Now, I’m man enough to admit I crumpled from the impact. That’s what happened when one lung smashed into the other one. But the bastards didn’t let me fall again. Still unable to breathe correctly, I feel my arms lifted along with the rest of me. I’m dangling in the air with expectations that more pain is coming.

“Stop!” Miss Wonderful commanded her goons.

My gaze somehow comes back to that sweet stack of a woman standing in front of me.

Did she suddenly care about me now?

Nope!

I can tell by those hypnotic eyes inspecting me like I’m the fresh catch of the day at the seafood shop.

“That’s good! You need a bit of feisty to stand up against what’s coming. Just remember to use your brain as well! You get this right and I’ll see you again. There’s a lot riding on you.”

I see her lick her lips and smile with too-perfect teeth. My brain screamed at my body to do something.

Too late!

Her punch into my diaphragm set off shock waves as the abdomen muscles seized up tighter than a virgin’s pussy. Both lungs decided to quit in protest. While I’m twitching around, gasping for air like a dying fish, Miss Wonderful elaborates on my situation.

“Don’t worry, you made it through my test. I can’t take another dope so you need to stay alive. Your world is about to change!”

“I really hope that you can survive!”

Her last statement seemed less abrasive, but my brain quit working several minutes before. To say that I went out instantly is a lie. I felt my body hoisted, then dropped onto the concrete. Then I heard a grunt, which I’m certain is mine. The three kidnappers stand above me, or I think so, since they are fuzzy when my eyelids occasionally open. A dazzling light appears with a high-pitched whining sound, forcing me to jerk my head in pain. The noise reminds me of a jet engine trying to start. Then everything is black.

When I figured out some of what happened the next day, I must agree with one of Miss Wonderful’s promises. That bitch certainly rocked my world. Now, I just wish I could find her.

I want to give her the gratifying gift of my fists, busting out her pretty teeth! It’s the image I had when everything finally went black.

~~~

The worst hangover in the history of humankind struck me when I woke up. No, it was more than a hangover even though, at first, I figured the whole beat down in the alley was just part of a terrible drunken dream. Then, I made the mistake of moving my body.

“FUCK!”

My eyes opened at the ache coming from my ribs. But the light hitting me was too bright, so I closed my eyes and rotated my head. There is no alley anymore, just an interior wall I noticed in that brief instant.

Inside a screwed-up brain, I’ve got scattered thoughts competing with waves of nausea. Avoiding the need to puke my guts out overrode the immediate concerns about the night’s events. Still, I carefully felt for my wallet and cell phone while each movement gave me a new lesson in pain. But they’re gone.

Naturally, I was fucking robbed!

The chair squeaks under me when I drop my hands while my head still lies on the top of the desk. Even taking a deep breath makes me groan out loud as my ribs still ache from the thug’s fists. My eyes remain shut while my mind is still sorting out what the hell happened.

Somehow, I got back to my apartment.

Opening my eyes, the light in the room remains too bright, and I squint as I’m looking at a picture frame. My focus on the picture makes me blink several times. Then, it slowly sunk in as I got that icy chill along my back when things didn’t look right. It’s a picture of a diploma of some sort hanging on a grimy pale green wall that has dark wainscoting halfway up.

I’ve never seen this damn place!

I close my eyes again, desperately hoping that I’m still in that twilight zone spot between sleep and awake. It is likely someone took pity on me and allowed me to stay overnight. There are some suckers like that. Then I froze. Was I kidnapped?

But you’re not tied up, you idiot!

That’s when the damn sound finally got inside my head like an earworm. Some asshole kept typing away in another room, each tap-tap-tap growing louder and louder until my head felt ready to pop from the pain. Finally, in desperation, I got to my feet and stumbled to the unfamiliar door. The movement gave my ribcage a reason to complain, and I grasped my side where the human gorilla struck me. The typing is still going on.

Stop it! Stop it!

I’m not sure that I actually yelled out the words screaming in my head. However, I know that a desperate rage mixed with more than a little fright filled me when I burst into the adjacent office.

Then, I stopped in my tracks!

When you expect to meet someone, you have certain expectations. Little things like what does the person will look like, or will they like me or not, come to mind. You certainly don’t expect to see an empty chair behind the desk.

No, that’s not correct.

Seeing isn’t the actual word, more like experiencing this crazy event. There was nobody in the chair at the desk, but there I was staring at the machine like a drunk trying to read the menu at a fast-food counter. That’s because the typewriter strikers busily slapping against the paper inside the roller.

NO FREAKING WAY!

There is no person in the chair. That’s right, it’s empty, and my overloaded brain has another thought.

Nobody uses a typewriter anymore!

To say I was stunned is more than an understatement. My eyes popped out of my head like a cartoon character. I slowly circle the desk while trying to figure out what I’m watching. Sticking out my finger, I pushed at the expected invisible person sitting there, but my hand kept going. Still, the damned typewriter kept working. Finally, I looked closely at the words on the paper. It’s a letter asking someone for payment. At this point, my brain laughed back at me in that maniacal laugh of crazy people in movies.

It’s a damn dream. An absolutely fucking crazy dream.

My first time in that screwed-up office sent me to the door as I hurried out of there. I still had hopes that the nightmare would quickly end. How wrong I was!

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